Kingdom Of Loathing

Disco Bandits, Seal Clubbers, Turtle Tamers, Pastamancers, Accordion Thieves, and Saucerors. What do all of these things have in common? Well, aside from being some rather odd titles, they are classes in the free online game Kingdom of Loathing. KOL is an turn-based RPG where you can go on odd quests in very strange places such as the Misspelled Cemetery in the Plains and the Sleazy Back Alley on the Wrong Side Of The Tracks. All of the art in this role-playing game was hand drawn by the creators. Some of the pieces might seem crappy while others are downright hilarious.


Once you register and pick your class (I'm a Disco Bandit), then you go find you very first quest at -- get this -- Mt. Noob. Yes, you will be insulted by a mountain. After you finish the quests you are given by The Toot Oriole, you go to the city council for most of the rest of your quests. The game screen for KOL consists of three separate sections. There is one for your stats, one for game play, and one for chat. The stats section shows your screen name, level and the title that goes with that level depending on your class. It shows your Muscle level, your Mysticality level, and your Moxie level. It also shows your HP (health points), MP (for Seal Clubbers and and Turtle Tamers that is Muscularity points, for Pastamancers and Saucerors it's Mana points, and for Disco Bandits and Accordion Thieves it's Mojo points), meat, and adventures. There are a couple of ways to get more HP, eating and sleeping at your campsite. MP is based directly on how much Mysticality a character has. Now, you might be wondering why you would need to know how much meat you have. Well, let me tell you, it's not for cooking! Meat is the currency in KOL represented by a little, and might I say well-drawn, steak.


Since KOL is such an addictive game, the creators needed a way to stop people from playing constantly and getting too far into the game at once. They use two methods to do this. One of them is the amount of adventures they give you each day. Adventures are your turns, and there are certain things you can only do if you have adventures. However, as I'm sure you've already guessed, there must be a way to get more adventures each day, and there are multiple ways. The ones most commonly known are eating and . . . drinking booze. But don't drink too much because, just like in the real world, if you drink too much you get too drunk to do anything.


To enter the chat you first have to pass a simply literacy test. From then on all you have to do once you log on is click "Enter Chat" in the chat screen and everything should be fine. If you have a funky system, then you can revert back to the old chat system. Now, I'd like to warn you that the ages of the people in the chat go over 35. If you're thinking about letting your kids play this game, I would suggest that they be at least 13-15 years old and that they keep the profanity filter on for the chat.


I would recommend this game to kids in high school and maybe middle school if they're pretty mature. It's a pretty fun game and I've been playing it almost every day since I signed up for it. I think my mom might regret recommending it, because I'm addicted and I admit it!